If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
