Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
