That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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