I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
