therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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