He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
