Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
