on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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