what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
