it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
