I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
