I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
