im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
