Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
