Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize