PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
