and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
