Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
