toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
