I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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