So drunk its hurt
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dignity is for republicans.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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