Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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