Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
