He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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