I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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