More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
