Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize