It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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