Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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