when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
