Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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