You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
