I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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