Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
