Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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