We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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