When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize