whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
