I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
someone owes me an orgasm
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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