Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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