Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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