If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
