He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize