I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
