he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
