kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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