So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
