Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize