Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
