She's JV to your varsity
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
