So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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