every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
