Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
