its not stalking. its research.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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