what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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