either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
send nudes
from the living room?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
