Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
