gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
