i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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