i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
