Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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