Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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